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Oh, for Heaven's Sake!

Friends, be warned: this is a rant!

I know I was determined to leave the certain person with whom I and a friend had an internet spat some time ago, alone, and to ignore her, and I swore to myself that I would never do this, but what can I say? Even my patience has limits. So, here goes:



Dear Specific Opposite Party in a recent Internet spat I was in,

First, let me say that I would not write this letter to you if you would not continue to slander me and my friend. I have not tried to contact you since the first week of October, when we had our spat. A month before the argument with you began, I did not even know that you existed. I would have long forgotten you existed since, if you had not insisted to keep taunting from the webspaces you occupy. I was determined to ignore you. However, enough is enough. So, for the record:

1. The thing at work in your three latest posts related to the spat you had with us is called projection. And as it happens, people tend to project those things at other people that they have within themselves. Look it up.

2. No, I am not the person you got in a row with in this newest spat of yours. No, AFAIK my friend is not that person, either. Apparently, you seem perfectly capable to antagonize other people beside the two of us all by yourself. So, your conclusion that behind every person who gets in a row with you must be either a sockpuppet of us, or some influence of us, is rather tiring, nor has it any resemblance to reality.

So, kindly take responsibility for your own actions, and do not blame us for any present or future row with whomever you may manage to antagonize next. Thank you!

And now, after we have exchanged this last bout of niceties, I shall bid you farewell and repeat to you what I have said twice to you already:

Have a Very Nice Life!

No love whatsoever,


Aislynn Crowdaughter

Comments

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
satismagic
Nov. 4th, 2007 09:10 am (UTC)
What did I miss?
crowdaughter
Nov. 4th, 2007 09:29 am (UTC)
Don't ask! This whole thing is silly enough. Basically, I and a friend got in a row with the person this letter is addressed to on her forum about five weeks ago, and after an exchange of niceties, my friend and I got banned. Now, the person is in a row with a third party and apparently has decided that, since it is impossible to get in a row with her all on one's own, that third party has to be one of us. And I am tired enough of all of this to finally react on my own lj. Sorry!
satismagic
Nov. 4th, 2007 09:41 am (UTC)
No need to say sorry. I know about online rows. ;-)

May I offer virtual tea and real sympathy?
crowdaughter
Nov. 4th, 2007 09:49 am (UTC)
May I offer virtual tea and real sympathy?

Thank you! Both are very appreciated!

Have to go and read and comment on your latest chapters of TAatN. Sorry, I was distracted for a while. I shall redeem this, ASAP. :)
satismagic
Nov. 4th, 2007 09:51 am (UTC)
W00t! I'm working on the second chapter of today's set at the moment. Horror, angst and much goodness. :-)
(Deleted comment)
crowdaughter
Nov. 4th, 2007 06:46 pm (UTC)
Hi, Calenharn! Thank you for the sympathy!

Sounds somewhat similar to something that happened to me 3 (or 4?) years ago, on a LOTR forum, the only difference being that we left of our own accord. (And we really did nothing, IMHO, to merit the antagonism.)

My condolences to you as well, then!

Well, apparently, not only the HP fandom is prone to Wank. The main problem in this case is that this whole sordid spat is going on, and on, and on... and I am very tired of it, already. Whatever. I will simply have to force myself to ignore that other person, and concentrate back on my writing again...
heartofoshun
Nov. 5th, 2007 12:11 am (UTC)
I know a little about the specific argument you are talking about. (More than I wish I knew actually. LOL) That kind of thing is so annoying. I hope you can put it behind you and not let it bother you--it is hard when the other person doesn't really want to stop and has a vivid imagination apprently.
crowdaughter
Nov. 5th, 2007 08:25 am (UTC)
Thank you for the support. I do hope that I can leave that stupid argument behind and go back to my writing. I got a wonderful review, yesterday; I do owe it to my readers to continue my story, soon... but at the moment, it takes some work to put all this to the side and concentrate on my writing. Oh, well. I shall just have to try again...
ignoblebard
Nov. 5th, 2007 02:19 am (UTC)
Aislynn,

You have my sympathies as well. I know exactly who you are talking about as your friend is also a friend of mine. It's always funny to see people like her bandy about psychological terms like "narcissist" as though she has the slightest idea what she's talking about. Yet in all her reading she seems to have completely missed the terms "projection", as you mentioned, and "rationalization". But that's what happens when you learn all your psychology from self help books. lol

The ridiculous thing is that she thinks snarking on her lj somehow makes any of her positions viable. But she is only reinforcing her own attitudes, to herself, like the "Daily Affirmation" guy on SNL. If you say it often enough it has to be true, right? That and selective editing. Like the post your friend made on her lj, that she just happened to delete, wherein your friend pointed out one of the many occasions her actions have been at odds with her words. Amusing from someone who has a thread on censorship on her forum. I'm guessing her position on that is "for". ;-)

She should at least have the guts to take on those she disagrees with in the open instead of hiding in her little "espaces" as she calls them and slinging mud. (love your cartoons, btw) But, alas, she does not. She has instead chosen to block, edit, and delete (prune) relentlessly in her ongoing effort to spin every "spat" into some sort of personal attack on her, though she also continues to be the one doing the name calling. I also know she has consistently refused to talk with either you or your friend in any format, including personal email or PM, because she gets pwned whenever she does, usually with her own contradictory and false statements. Oh, but she does love a "debate" doesn't she? The one sided ones are best.

Of course she's ultimately only hurting herself in thinking that you and your friend are lurking behind every negative post to her forums. Obviously this worries her and weighs heavily on her mind since she keeps posting essentially the same whiny rant to her lj whenever she has a "spat" with someone. Much of her lj seems to be filled with these "spats". Sad. Most people would start to realize after awhile that maybe their relationship problems have a little something to do with them, but then one must have a modicum of self-awareness for this to happen. People disagreeing with her causes her much cognitive dissonance because it's so opposed to how she sees herself. Sounds like a textbook case of... something... What is that word...? ;-)

I guess she can't imagine a world where anyone would disagree or contradict her point of view unless they had been influenced by someone else. Paranoia is the price of certain counter productive behaviors. When one won't talk with someone directly, like an adult, and try to work out any differences, one must always be looking over one's shoulder, wondering from what direction the next "attack", real or imaginary, is coming from. It's no way, dare I say, a rational person would want to live, but to each her own.
crowdaughter
Nov. 5th, 2007 08:19 am (UTC)
Bard, thank you.

However, it is not my place to speculate about the psychology behind all this. The problem I have is that the whole thing is getting on my nerves, and on the other hand I do not dare stop reading that blog of hers because I do not trust her as far as I can throw her. If she would just stop slandering and would leave well enough alone, the whole thing would be over in an instant, at least on my side. I would forget she exists and would go on with my own online life as before, hug the occasional Suethor (and give them concrit at the same time), spork the occasional badfic, and write and post my stories, as I did before I ever met her, and will do in the future as well.

Unfortunately, this whole Wank takes its toll on my nerves, and even on my stomach, sometimes. I am used to get a sick feeling when there is stress I cannot avoid at work, but at the internet? *Sigh*

All this reminds me of that wonderful book by Paul Watzlawick:

The Situation Is Hopeless, But Not Serious (The Pursuit of Unhappiness).

I would give an excerpt, but my linux system refuses to play with the Amazon online reader...

When one won't talk with someone directly, like an adult, and try to work out any differences, one must always be looking over one's shoulder, wondering from what direction the next "attack", real or imaginary, is coming from. It's no way, dare I say, a rational person would want to live, but to each her own.

You are right, of course. But in this case, I fear direct talking won't help, either. The problem is that every word or action of the other person might get misinterpreted, as well. I fear, in this special case the only thing that *would* help were if both sides would decide to completely ignore the other side, whatever that other party did. However, unfortunately, that course of action takes two players both harking to the rules, too... and I tried that, already, with the effect tghat now, even a conflict with a third party the person on the other side of this conflict has is blamed on me and my friend. Oh, well...
randy_o
Nov. 5th, 2007 04:44 am (UTC)
Well, that anwers THAT question. You saw it. LOL

I saw her most recent Live Journal entry and thought -- WTF? However, I felt amused (between bouts of teeth grinding.) Now we can 'troll' without even lifting a finger. Any time anyone disagrees with her or looks at her cross-eyed she will think it is one of the two of us, even if we're both on vacation, sitting on some beach and sipping Pina Coladas.

*offering a virtual glass of Dorwinion and a Xanax*

Your fellow miscreant,

Randy
crowdaughter
Nov. 5th, 2007 07:52 am (UTC)
*offering a virtual glass of Dorwinion and a Xanax*

Thank you! I do need both, at the moment!

*downs both*

Actually, the 'sitting on a beach sipping Pina Coladas' option looks very tempting, too. I shall consider it, since at the moment, my writing suffers from all this clamor and I need to go back to it, ASAP...


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