Author: Aislynn Crowdaughter
Genre: AU. Humor. Implied Dark Themes.
Rated: PG 13
Warnings: None. I think.
Beta: randy_o. My sincerest thanks to you! All remaining errors are my own.
Summary: Sauron made a slight error in judgment...
Disclaimer: Lord of The Rings, Middle Earth and all it's canonical inhabitants were created by J.R.R. Tolkien and are property of the Tolkien Estate. The Movie adaption of this world was created by Peter Jackson and is property of New Line Cinema. I own nothing of this and borrow both here without permission and just for entertainment. Oh, and the idea of Sauron as a Hobbit belongs to anna_wing, who brought it up as an example in a discussion on lotrfic_crit. I just took the idea and ran with it. Sorry!
Author's note: written following an inspiration by a discussion at lotrfic_crit about the believability of AU's. This has absolutely nothing to do with my other stories. Read at your own risk!
A Slight Case Of Misjudgment
Sauron's howl of rage shook the very foundations of Barad-Dur, leaving his subjects trembling.
The Witch-King, never before one to back down from a challenge, shrank into himself in his robe and kept his mouth carefully closed and his thoughts clouded. At least he hoped that the rage of his master would be enough to hide his thoughts from him.
The other subjects of the Dark Lord – Orcs, Trolls, Wargs, Fell Beasts, slaves, and, as it were, even some Black Numenoreans – did their best to shrink back into whatever covering shadow or dark corner was available.
Not all of them were so lucky, though. Both the Witch King and the new advisor of the Dark Lord could do nothing but endure their master's presence and hope that his rage might not turn upon them. So did the Lieutenant of the Dark Lord who was called the Mouth of Sauron, who was, at the present, very, very silent.
The reembodied Dark Lord smashed the offending mirror before him with the mere force of his mind. Even though the plate was of fine, polished silver, the impact of his will alone was enough, and the reflective surface shattered into numerous pieces.
"How!?" the Dark Lord screamed. "How is this possible?!"
He turned to his three advisors.
"You," he singled out the one most recently added among them, "you have studied ring-lore almost as deeply as I have studied it myself! Tell me, how could this happen?!"
Curunir (1) bowed. At this moment, he very much would have preferred to be somewhere else. When he took Sauron's side, he had envisioned his part as the new right hand of the Dark Lord somewhat differently.
Very carefully, he said:
"Maybe it was not the best idea, my Lord, to derive the shape of your new physical form directly from the Ring. You know how long it has been held by one of... them. When you tapped its memory to regain your shape, it chose the form of the one to whom it had been most closely been connected this last time."
His words were met with dead silence. He knew his statement had been a grave mistake when the other two advisors carefully added some space between him and themselves.
Curunir was surprised at his own capability for rational thought at this moment of utter threat of his own possible destruction.
'How unfortunate that the power of the One Ring could give Sauron enough potency to regain physical form, but not enough to change it at will,' he thought to himself. 'And how strange how little impact mere size has on the amount of terror Sauron is able to induce.'
Those were the last thoughts of the former White Wizard before the blow of his new master's mind sent him flying across the chamber and the hard collision with the wall robbed him of his consciousness for a while.
"Take him to his chambers! I still need him!" he commanded coldly, and then he stomped off on oversized hairy feet, his likeness a perfect image of the one who had last held the Ring and whose broken shell now lay deep in the dungeons of the Dark Tower.
-- The End --
(1) Curunir: "Man of Craft" or "Skillful One", Saruman's Sindarin name. I chose using this name here instead of the Maia name "Curumo", given to him in the Unfinished Tales (Harper CollinsPublishers, London 1998, P. 509), since Saruman thinks of Sauron as Sauron. Thanks go to Randy to point the Maia name out to me, though!
Author's note: This ficlet was inspired by the latest discussion at the lotrfic_crit group about the believability of AU's.
anna_wing wrote in lotrfic_crit concerning this topic:
"An AU where Melian persuades Thingol to give the Silmaril back to the Sons of Feanor doesn't have much more than the usual criteria for a canon story to fulfill. One where Sauron turns out to be a hobbit would have a lot more explaining to do."
To which lexin replied:
"It would indeed, and if someone took it on I'd be up there reading it."
Which was, for me, an instant inspiration, and kind of a challenge. And since at the moment I seem completely stuck with my own fic, Mael-Gul, I could not resist. Hope you enjoy!