Please allow me to present you with my sadly clumsy and inadequate gift for you:
Warning: serious non-canon, terrible anachronism, all around silliness and high sugar content!
...but I hope you'll like it, anyway.
...and they did not exactly include becoming a bard.
My best wishes to your begetting day, Randy, and I hope you forgive me for the cheerful and complete ignorance of canon, here!
Greetings to you and Cheers,